“The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”
Since I have said “yes” to the Lord on this writing journey, it is proving to be harder than I ever imagined. I do love what I’m doing. But to take it seriously, and be obedient to what He has called me to do, I cannot just write when I feel like it. I cannot just wait until inspiration strikes. I cannot even just write what I want to or think I should, if I want to write the words that God wants me to write. Therein lies my purpose; to teach, encourage, and point others in the direction of Jesus. Otherwise, as I have said before it is only jibber jabber.
There is also the point of goal setting and scheduling. Like they say; “If you aim at nothing you’ll hit it every time.” So I am trying to write and post on Wednesdays (or sometimes Thursdays), so my readers (all 4 or 5 !) know when to count on it being posted. Also it forces me to write and not just keep putting it off. Two weeks ago I posted what was to be a two part post on our speech…the power of our words. I posted on Facebook last night that I was struggling with it. A faithful friend admonished me to show myself some grace. I thank her for that, because I’m not real good at cutting myself some slack. When I have committed to do something, I don’t like feeling like I’m not working diligently enough. I don’t like feeling irresponsible. I don’t like feeling like I’m giving up. But this is not about what I like or don’t like. It is about what God wants. So this morning I have been doing a bit more talking with Him, trying to discern if this is Satan hindering me, or God wanting me to do something different.
I was frustrated because I know God is not the author of confusion (1 Cor.14:33). I said; “Jesus, you are my Shepherd, so I am supposed to hear and know Your voice! What is going on with what I’m trying to write? Why can’t I write this?!” First word I “heard”…”Trust”. I do trust Him, so I kept listening. He reminded me of a couple examples when I most definitely did not use my speech righteously. Yea, yea He was gracious and only reminded me of a couple…there’s more than I care to admit or remember. The words we speak are so very important; negative, positive, useful or useless. I think He’s telling me there is so much more to it than a two part blog post. He may be telling me it is more than I’m ready for right now. It may be just as simple as listening to, and obeying HIS leading and direction, rather than my own. Make plans…but be flexible. I need to get out of my own head (and be so faithful in prayer) in order to stop feeling like I’m slacking when it’s God simply doing what I’ve asked…giving me the words HE wants me to write.
For those of you who take the time to read this blog, I am so thankful for you and my heart is full of love for you. Honestly. Each and every one of us is fighting one kind of battle or another on any given day. If I can say even one thing to make you smile or encourage your heart even a little as you go through your days, then I am humbled and grateful. Please know you are prayed for.
Keeping my gaze toward the Son,