If I was asked that question a few years ago, I probably would have said a resounding “No!” As I have gotten older and hopefully wiser, I’ve learned that sometimes, you just…Have. To. Quit.
I am so thankful that this day, and all it contained…this day is the day the Lord has made. Knowing that, I can (still) rejoice and be glad in it (see Psalm 118:24), even though it wasn’t what I had hoped for. I am grateful that my hope…our hope is in the Lord and His goodness, not circumstances. Though people and circumstances will all eventually disappoint us, God never will.
It’s been one of those days. A day of much needing to be taken care of, and things needing to be accomplished and dealt with for the week ahead. But also a day of fatigue, feeling like I’m wearing a lead suit, and a day where the brain fog and cognitive dysfunction have gripped and clawed at me incessantly. It happens. And good happens. It’s just where we choose to focus our attention.
I have heard others with Fibromyalgia and similar illnesses say; “If one more person tells me how good I look I’m going to scream!” I get it. But I choose to take that as a compliment, and see it as a blessing…a big blessing! Because if I had to look as awful as I feel many days, for me, that would just make it all much worse.
So on this day I choose to focus on what was good, not what wasn’t….
- I changed the bedding
- Tidied up the grandbabies bedroom
- Managed to make something to feed Hubs for dinner
- And even though no one else but Hubs saw me, I had a really super good hair day! (wink)
Earlier this afternoon, I kept thinking of all the things still needing to be done. As I kept trying to push myself…in my lead suit, fatigue and brain fog…I finally sat on the couch and said out loud;
“I quit! I just quit trying to push through. It’s enough.”
I relaxed. I rested. I was thankful. It was enough. God is always enough.
My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation;
He is my defense;
I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory;
The rock of my strength,
And my refuge, is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah Psalm 62:5-8
I saw this quote by John Piper today, and it fits perfectly with what God has been teaching me the past few weeks about letting go of what was, quit longing for it, and start embracing what is.
“Occasionally, weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the losses, then wash your face, trust God, and embrace the life you have.”
So quit striving. Quit the hustle to be and do everything, and just rest in the presence of Jesus.